I used to walk around feeling like (and saying) I had no life, and maybe for a while it was true. Then gradually I began to realize that in actuality I did have a life. I was reluctant, but this realization was forced upon me when it became impossible to ignore the fact that I hardly ever had free time on weekends. And it got worse from there. I've tried to calm things down a bit--working full time will do that to a person--but I just realized that, several times recently, I have had to remind myself of something shocking:
When I have free time, I don't have to fill it with other people. I am actually allowed to go do things by myself, even if it might be possible to make plans with someone else. When did I become a person who needed that kind of reminder?
In other news, one of the girls on the bus--a kindergartener--said something a little bit heartbreaking this morning. Justin Beiber came on the radio, and so came up in their conversation. One girl said, "The funny thing is, my mom loves Justin Beiber." Then another said, "My mom hates Justin Beiber because he's white. She says white people are stupid and make bad decisions."
What do you say to that? Do you let it pass? Do you get upset? I said something about how people are people, regardless of skin tone, but that won't change the environment she lives in. Why do people perpetuate racism?
Showing posts with label kids. Show all posts
Showing posts with label kids. Show all posts
Friday, April 20, 2012
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Magic.
I love the way this little dog's big black eyes shine at me out of the gloom of the darkened living room. She says that it's really past time for a walk. She is correct, but she'll be okay for a few more minutes.
I've been substitute tutoring this week at an elementary school across town, and it's been great. Really great. I've never tutored in math before at all, but these kids--two in fourth grade and one in fifth--were working on multiplication tables and elapsed time/algebraic expressions, respectively. I've discovered this week that work sheets are really not helpful, and can actually be a hindrance. I've discovered this week that encouragement and a smile can go a long, long way. I've also discovered that there are a lot of uses for Phase 10 dice and cards. One boy had worksheets left over from previous tutoring sessions, and he mainly worked on those. He made some progress, but not a huge amount. The other fourth grader came in knowing almost no multiplication at all--she had been described to me as having the most trouble with it--and spent most of each of our two sessions playing multiplication games with the dice and cards, and left today being able to give me quite a few answers to questions. She knows 6 x 6. She knows 8 x 8 and 9 x 9 and 6 x 5 and many others. She knows how to multiply tens now, and elevens, and she's starting to learn the logic of multiplication. The third girl, in fifth grade, never really had very much trouble that I could see with algebraic expressions, and she made progress in her understanding of elapsed time. She was the best worker in the group though, and as such probably received the least attention: and that right there is the biggest reason I prefer one-on-one tutoring, and one-on-one interactions in general. I absolutely loved working with these three children this week, but I would have loved even more the opportunity to work with each individually. There is an energy in small groups, though, that is hard to find elsewhere. I guess there are advantages and disadvantages to everything. It was a wonderful experience.
Pro tip from today: small children love balloons. I mean, they really love them. Do you remember that? I'm not sure I do, but I love seeing it. The magic of those soft, floaty, brightly colored orbs isn't easy to describe. The three kids I was sub tutoring this week mentioned on Tuesday that their usual tutor had talked about bringing cupcakes on their last day--today. I didn't really want to bring cupcakes and ran out of time anyway, but I remembered that I had some balloons in my bag-o-tutoring-supplies, left over from the days that the only way to get Layla to write letters was to let her write them in sharpie on a balloon. I thought that they'd be disappointed by this trade, but I figured that it would be better than nothing.
But no--they were so excited about the balloons. And then some of the kids from other groups wanted balloons. And then some kids in the hallway saw me walking with one, and asked if they could have balloons. And there is just something really wonderful about making kids happy in such a simple, easy way. And then one little boy asked me whether I was a balloon fairy, and suddenly the whole world sparkled.
I've been substitute tutoring this week at an elementary school across town, and it's been great. Really great. I've never tutored in math before at all, but these kids--two in fourth grade and one in fifth--were working on multiplication tables and elapsed time/algebraic expressions, respectively. I've discovered this week that work sheets are really not helpful, and can actually be a hindrance. I've discovered this week that encouragement and a smile can go a long, long way. I've also discovered that there are a lot of uses for Phase 10 dice and cards. One boy had worksheets left over from previous tutoring sessions, and he mainly worked on those. He made some progress, but not a huge amount. The other fourth grader came in knowing almost no multiplication at all--she had been described to me as having the most trouble with it--and spent most of each of our two sessions playing multiplication games with the dice and cards, and left today being able to give me quite a few answers to questions. She knows 6 x 6. She knows 8 x 8 and 9 x 9 and 6 x 5 and many others. She knows how to multiply tens now, and elevens, and she's starting to learn the logic of multiplication. The third girl, in fifth grade, never really had very much trouble that I could see with algebraic expressions, and she made progress in her understanding of elapsed time. She was the best worker in the group though, and as such probably received the least attention: and that right there is the biggest reason I prefer one-on-one tutoring, and one-on-one interactions in general. I absolutely loved working with these three children this week, but I would have loved even more the opportunity to work with each individually. There is an energy in small groups, though, that is hard to find elsewhere. I guess there are advantages and disadvantages to everything. It was a wonderful experience.
Pro tip from today: small children love balloons. I mean, they really love them. Do you remember that? I'm not sure I do, but I love seeing it. The magic of those soft, floaty, brightly colored orbs isn't easy to describe. The three kids I was sub tutoring this week mentioned on Tuesday that their usual tutor had talked about bringing cupcakes on their last day--today. I didn't really want to bring cupcakes and ran out of time anyway, but I remembered that I had some balloons in my bag-o-tutoring-supplies, left over from the days that the only way to get Layla to write letters was to let her write them in sharpie on a balloon. I thought that they'd be disappointed by this trade, but I figured that it would be better than nothing.
But no--they were so excited about the balloons. And then some of the kids from other groups wanted balloons. And then some kids in the hallway saw me walking with one, and asked if they could have balloons. And there is just something really wonderful about making kids happy in such a simple, easy way. And then one little boy asked me whether I was a balloon fairy, and suddenly the whole world sparkled.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
On Priorities
I started training for a swim instructor job this week, having told them originally that I could probably only do 2 days a week and then thinking, temporarily, that I could do 4. Tuesday I realized that 4 was not going to work out after all, as the later times weren't working for one of my tutoring clients, and finally was able to get in touch with a manager of the swim school today. Unfortunately, honoring my prior commitments makes me a liability--and goodbye swim school. I have to admit that while I am really pretty disappointed by this, I'm also a little bit relieved. Losing the prospective source of income is sucky, but this frees up my summer quite a bit. Now I can make my own plans, be they tutoring or Camp or private swim lessons, or, dare I say it, vacation.
I totally had other things to say, but I can't remember them at all. Here is one though that I am making up:
Tutoring: SO AWESOME.
Also, I really like NPR. Like, a lot.
And on the way to work tonight I had the thought or feeling that I was finding my stride and rhythm in life. I think I do have these feelings periodically, but that doesn't make them any less awesome. And I had this vision of my future life, just a flash, imagining what it might be like. I can never remember these things clearly, and they're mostly just feelings of adultness and awesomeness I think, but it was nice. And I imagined a piece of advice for a youngish female: "Just find your beat, baby girl."
I don't know why I like the "baby" word to be inserted into phrases when I'm emotional. I have no explanation for that.
I totally had other things to say, but I can't remember them at all. Here is one though that I am making up:
Tutoring: SO AWESOME.
Also, I really like NPR. Like, a lot.
And on the way to work tonight I had the thought or feeling that I was finding my stride and rhythm in life. I think I do have these feelings periodically, but that doesn't make them any less awesome. And I had this vision of my future life, just a flash, imagining what it might be like. I can never remember these things clearly, and they're mostly just feelings of adultness and awesomeness I think, but it was nice. And I imagined a piece of advice for a youngish female: "Just find your beat, baby girl."
I don't know why I like the "baby" word to be inserted into phrases when I'm emotional. I have no explanation for that.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
On being ill*.
My health seems significantly improved today, but I still don't get to go tutor Layla. I am pretty upset about this. Her mom is probably right, though, in wanting to play it safe--especially because "significantly improved" in this case means that I have a lot less of a head cold and somewhat more of a chest cold than I did yesterday. You know, a coughing-up-nasty-crap chest cold. Awesome.
This is always the way with me, though. Working with kids, I mean--not with colds. While I'm working with them I am often not that big of a fan (this was particularly the case with SwimKids and R-MA), but after I leave, or when I take a break for a while, I miss them like crazy. (Again, particularly the case with SwimKids and R-MA.)
Also I'm a little tired of sitting in the house. Also: feeling like a pariah.
*Really, to me, the term "ill" implies digestive issues. A cold, in my mind, more accurately deserves the term "sick." Unfortunately, I don't like the word "sick" nearly as much as "ill."
Is that weird?
This is always the way with me, though. Working with kids, I mean--not with colds. While I'm working with them I am often not that big of a fan (this was particularly the case with SwimKids and R-MA), but after I leave, or when I take a break for a while, I miss them like crazy. (Again, particularly the case with SwimKids and R-MA.)
Also I'm a little tired of sitting in the house. Also: feeling like a pariah.
*Really, to me, the term "ill" implies digestive issues. A cold, in my mind, more accurately deserves the term "sick." Unfortunately, I don't like the word "sick" nearly as much as "ill."
Is that weird?
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Interesting,
How I turn to a sniveling mess at the end of every session where I've known any of the kids for a while. Or where I know the older siblings of any of the kids. Or where any of the kids I know have turned into staff that I love beyond all reason. I start out beaming at them and then I ask silly, sappy questions, and then I take a bunch of pictures so I can beam at my convenience later, and then I just double over on the last night at some point during campfire and start leaking out the face.
Last session it was Robert's fault. Robert's and RJ's and Dominique's and Canaan's, and Jon's and pretty much every other kid that was up for CiT that I've known forever.
This session, I mean, I've been beaming all over the place, beaming so much that our power bill has been pretty much halved since I got here, but tonight it started with Sean Michael. I mean he started coming as a little boy--this tiny, hyper little nine-year-old, bouncing off the walls everywhere with questions and ideas and science projects all over the place, and he's grown up so much, and he's had to handle so much in his life, and now here he is, nearly grown. There he was tonight at campfire, playing the guitar he started learning here last year as one of my CiTs. It struck me that there's always just enough, you know? Gracie used to play the ukelele and Rob the guitar, and then Art played after Rob couldn't come so much anymore and Gracie had gone. Now Sean is learning. And now Sean is sitting around the campfire with an adoring, insane little boy leaned up against his shoulder, pointing out the North Star to a kid that didn't know Venus was a planet. And now Sean's little brother Jamie is here, and I can see it happening all over again. He is so insane, really all over the place and filled just like his brother with stories and crazy ideas and questions about animals, and I just love him so much. And I just doubled over and started crying right there with all the little boys and all my former little boys singing and making obnoxious, badly-timed jokes all around me. I do it almost every time.
Last session it was Robert's fault. Robert's and RJ's and Dominique's and Canaan's, and Jon's and pretty much every other kid that was up for CiT that I've known forever.
This session, I mean, I've been beaming all over the place, beaming so much that our power bill has been pretty much halved since I got here, but tonight it started with Sean Michael. I mean he started coming as a little boy--this tiny, hyper little nine-year-old, bouncing off the walls everywhere with questions and ideas and science projects all over the place, and he's grown up so much, and he's had to handle so much in his life, and now here he is, nearly grown. There he was tonight at campfire, playing the guitar he started learning here last year as one of my CiTs. It struck me that there's always just enough, you know? Gracie used to play the ukelele and Rob the guitar, and then Art played after Rob couldn't come so much anymore and Gracie had gone. Now Sean is learning. And now Sean is sitting around the campfire with an adoring, insane little boy leaned up against his shoulder, pointing out the North Star to a kid that didn't know Venus was a planet. And now Sean's little brother Jamie is here, and I can see it happening all over again. He is so insane, really all over the place and filled just like his brother with stories and crazy ideas and questions about animals, and I just love him so much. And I just doubled over and started crying right there with all the little boys and all my former little boys singing and making obnoxious, badly-timed jokes all around me. I do it almost every time.
Monday, September 28, 2009
Pictures From the Summer
As requested, of food (and other things I love).
David picked these for me while I was digging up glass bottles from an old dump uncovered in our friends' yard where they are opening up a cave:
This is my cousin Tom and his sister's youngest, Lilly:
My mom and sister make amazing breakfasts sometimes. For example: poached egg on a garden tomato, grits, and waffles from scratch with homemade blueberry syrup:
David's completely adorable nephew Joseph, lying on the floor for no apparent reason:
Beautiful garden tomatoes and basil from, I think, my aunt Beauchamp:
My wonderful parents
Wild concord grapes growing at White Stone, Va
House sitting horses and a goat named Princess with Kelly
The best boyfriend I have ever seen in real life, snuggling with an extremely loving and energetic three-legged dog named June:
David picked these for me while I was digging up glass bottles from an old dump uncovered in our friends' yard where they are opening up a cave:
This is my cousin Tom and his sister's youngest, Lilly:
My mom and sister make amazing breakfasts sometimes. For example: poached egg on a garden tomato, grits, and waffles from scratch with homemade blueberry syrup:
David's completely adorable nephew Joseph, lying on the floor for no apparent reason:
Beautiful garden tomatoes and basil from, I think, my aunt Beauchamp:
My wonderful parents
Wild concord grapes growing at White Stone, Va
House sitting horses and a goat named Princess with Kelly
The best boyfriend I have ever seen in real life, snuggling with an extremely loving and energetic three-legged dog named June:
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
I call this the "if it ain't broke, fix it bitter" tour.
1(a
le
af
fa
ll
s as)
one
(girl sits
sits
sits
and reads
reads
sleeps
sits as friends
travel
write
leave her a
l
one)
l
iness
thanks to E. E. Cummings.
In other news: job offer from Banker's Life and Casualty Company. This was sort of exciting until I realized that hiring me would constitute absolutely no risk for the company whatsoever, as my pay would be based entirely on commission. I'd be surprised if they didn't hire almost everyone who applied. Also, to get licensed to sell insurance, I'd have the honor of paying out about $300 to various people for classes and tests and permission from the state and whatnot--non-reimbursable. Sounds great, don't it?
Also on the job front, I interviewed today with Mad Science, a company whose goal is to get kids excited about science, and a company which seems much more up-front, open, and honest, and awesome, in just about every way. I mean, obviously I wouldn't have anything close to the earning potential I would at Banker's Life, but I probably wouldn't hate my job, either. As an added bonus, they'll hire me for free! (If they hire me. Let's not get nit-picky.)
le
af
fa
ll
s as)
one
(girl sits
sits
sits
and reads
reads
sleeps
sits as friends
travel
write
leave her a
l
one)
l
iness
thanks to E. E. Cummings.
In other news: job offer from Banker's Life and Casualty Company. This was sort of exciting until I realized that hiring me would constitute absolutely no risk for the company whatsoever, as my pay would be based entirely on commission. I'd be surprised if they didn't hire almost everyone who applied. Also, to get licensed to sell insurance, I'd have the honor of paying out about $300 to various people for classes and tests and permission from the state and whatnot--non-reimbursable. Sounds great, don't it?
Also on the job front, I interviewed today with Mad Science, a company whose goal is to get kids excited about science, and a company which seems much more up-front, open, and honest, and awesome, in just about every way. I mean, obviously I wouldn't have anything close to the earning potential I would at Banker's Life, but I probably wouldn't hate my job, either. As an added bonus, they'll hire me for free! (If they hire me. Let's not get nit-picky.)
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