Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Oh, that

God, I am way more of a suicide risk than anyone realizes. Most (?) of the time I'm fine, but it takes about three seconds for me to go from functional to about-to-throw-in-the-towel. And it happens a lot. Maybe most days. Maybe a couple of times a week. I don't know.

That sounds so extreme. I'm not saying that I've got elaborate plans or anything, letters composed, anything like that. I just wish dying didn't feel like such a good idea. Like a fantasy vacation I don't ever have to come home from.

1 comment:

  1. Hey there! Still reading. Struggling with some stagnation issues myself -- I wonder how much of that feeds into depression -- yours, mine, anyone's. At the edge of 30, though, I'm really starting to feel embarrassed when I keep telling my friends that "nothing is new" with me, and I don't like how it feels. Think I may start taking a few grad. school classes to see if I'm cut out for it. If I can get a degree, I feel like I would have a new lease on life, and at the least -- an achievement to be proud of.

    Hope you're doing better than you may have been in September. Try to be tough, but not tough on yourself -- enjoy each day for what it is, but keep an eye on the future. It doesn't matter how long it takes to get somewhere as long as you start and don't stop or turn back.

    Hope a few of these clichés help.

    Keep writing.