Tuesday, June 6, 2017

Again. Still. More.

It's not so much that I want to kill myself these days, it's more that, roughly eighty five to ninety percent of the time, I find myself wishing I'd never been born.

Sunday, January 22, 2017


You know, I hate that I'm such an indecisive person, but if I weren't I probably would have killed myself a long time ago.

So I got that going for me, which is nice. I guess.

That being said, if I weren't so indecisive, I might not be so anxious and depressed all the time. It's hard to say which stems from which.

I'm sitting here in my parents' bathroom, because I stopped in here before leaving their house and I can't stop crying long enough to leave, and my parents are both on edge now and it just reinforces my belief that I have to control my emotions or else they'll fuck other people up. Which might be true, but it isn't healthy.

I was supposed to have a nice afternoon of socializing but I can't even get to my goddamn car.

Thursday, January 5, 2017

Rogue One

Here's what I love about Star Wars, particularly in its most recent iteration.

In Star Wars, there's no internet.

In Star Wars, one can lose one's mind, and get it back again, and be someone who matters and makes a difference.

In Star Wars, it's okay to be a woman.

In Star Wars, nobody uses translators--have you noticed? Everyone speaks his or her or its own language, and everyone else understands. And if you don't understand, then that's your problem.

In Star Wars, people fighting for Good work together, and they give everything they have, knowing that they may never find out whether it all worked out, or whether other people would hold up their end. People do 'what they can with what they have, where they are.' They do their little piece as best as they can. As Jyn put it: "If we make it to the ground, we'll take the next chance, and the next--on and on until we win, or the chances are spent."

Rebellions are built on hope.