Rules for being a fashionista: a top-seven list.

7. Possess the ability to wear awful looking clothes and somehow still look attractive.
6. Possess the ability to wear unattractive clothing but convince others that it is "fashionable."
5. Own several hundred of everything.
4. "Read" lots of magazines that consist of nothing but advertisements and pictures.
3. Know about and discuss "the new __________ line," constantly.
2. Possess the ability to walk strut in eight-inch heels
1. Refer to anything that can arguably be worn as or with clothing as a "piece."

Food

So my mother made a venison roast for dinner and I'm not sure what she put on it (rosemary and red wine vinegar, maybe?) and it was really good. And then I made some toast (honey wheat) and put a little bit of butter on it and soaked up the juice from the roast, and oh sweet lord, I kid you not, it was heartbreakingly delicious.

Also Katy should be in town in about an hour, and we were discussing margaritas so I got strawberry margarita mix and tequila and also some peach schnapps, and now she feels ill and probably won't drink it. what on earth am I going to do with all of this alcohol? Ideas, anyone?

I don't feel like writing at the moment

About everything going on in the past 24 or so hours, anyway. But they've been good, for the most part! Just posting because I remembered that it's Friday and I am trying to un-abandon the Friday poems thing. So here's a rough first draft of a poem which I have no idea what to name. That felt grammatically incorrect, but you know what I mean. Comments? Or not?

silver sunlight spills
through windowpanes and across
the worn wood floor.
classical piano wafts through
empty rooms of the quiet house
down the hallway and under the just-cracked door
to caress the bright, dancing dreams
of the new mind
sleeping within.

Friends, movies, books

I felt a little distant yesterday, but the day was still alright. Victoria came over after I got off work, and I was so glad to see her. So glad she wanted to come over! I mean, we are friends and we have been for a while--but mainly we're friends at Camp. And sometimes it's difficult to tell with friends from wherever whether they're people who actually want to be actual friends, minus the location. Am I making sense? I'm guilty of it too. For instance, there's a girl with whom I went to college who is a bit odd, very sweet, very joyful and funny. I do like her, but for some reason when she tried to become closer friends with me around graduation time, I balked a little bit. I don't know why. I felt bad about it, but I just wasn't interested. We've talked a bit lately though, and I hope I can undo any damage I might have caused with my coldness.
Back to Victoria. She's pretty fantastic, but she has, you know, other friends and social engagements. In other words, she had a life before we were friends, and here I am trying to squeeze my way in. As someone who has had (for the most part) the same group of close friends since early elementary school, that always makes me a little self-conscious. I am always looking for telltale signs of whether whatever friendship I'm feeling nervous about is a friendship of convenience, rather than one that matters more in the long run. So my point in all of this is that when I texted* Victoria the other day to tell her I hadn't realized she was still in town, the fact that she immediately responded with "yes...why yes I am. would you care to get together on wednesday?" did a lot for, I dunno, my positive feelings about our friendship. It's hard to write about relationship insecurity without feeling like a complete loser, despite having no shortage of friends. It seems like no one talks (openly, at least) about that sort of thing, so it's hard to tell for sure whether other people have the same worries. But I do sometimes, so there it is.


Back to task. Recording the day: both Victoria and I pretty much suck at coming up with things to do, so we went to see The Princess and the Frog**, which I had seen (with Ami!) but she had not. The verdict: still good. Especially the soundtrack, which is really no surprise considering that it was written by Randy Newman***.
She went home after the movie, and shortly thereafter my mom came home, and then my sister and dad. Have I mentioned that my mom is a wizard in the kitchen? Just before Chloe walked in the was saying how she didn't have any idea what we were going to do for dinner. Maybe 20 minutes later we were eating vegetables, beer-boiled shrimp with garlic butter, fresh salad, homemade (oven-baked) fries, and a few leftover extras.
I was tired and went to bed (if not sleep) early--a feat in itself--and started Widdershins! (Sara lent me this book months ago, when we were all in PA for Susannah's bridal party weekend thing.) I am proud to say that although it was good, I did not read it for hours and hours. I was greatly aided by the fact that it's written in sections, rather than just chapters. If it's just chapters I'll finish one, then look at the clock. "Oh, it's only 1:25 am?" Then I'll count the pages in the next chapter. "Only 20 pages? No problem. I'll just read a few more minutes."
It can be a bit of an issue.














*Ok seriously Firefox, is "texted" still not in the dictionary?

**And we got popcorn, and my tongue and lower lip are STILL feeling weird from the salt. That is intense. And disgusting. Possibly this is all exacerbated by the fact that I had some smoked whitefish salad yesterday, which is also very salty. I've probably about covered my sodium intake for the next week and a half. Disgusting. I am disgusted.

***Poor David is so patient. Last night on the phone I said, "did I tell you that the soundtrack was by Randy Newman?" He responded, ever so gently, with "Yeah, I mentioned that several times. I said I wanted to see it because Randy Newman did the soundtrack. I mean, it also looks good..."
This happens all the time. He is so nice about it. My goal is to someday find a way to remember more than 50% of what I hear.

Who ever thought I'd look back fondly?

I miss that boy.


Work today was decent. Jr stopped by on his way to an interview nearby--I hope he gets the job. He came by again when I got off work and came over for a little while. Kelly was still at my house cleaning up, so we all hung out for a bit. Ate some ramen. I was so tired (though not as tired as Kelly, who hasn't been able to sleep more than a few hours a night lately) that I eventually just went and took a nap while they were downstairs. They finished up and said goodbye and went home. I hope Kelly can get some sleep tonight.

No one in my family was home until 7 or 7:30, so I napped a while, checked email and did sit-ups in the living room, then went and put together a bed frame that's been sitting in Jack's old room for a week or so now. We don't have a mattress to put on it yet, but still, pretty cool.

Dinner was chili/split pea soup (mixed leftovers and surprisingly good) over steamed kale. Delicious. We finished eating around 9:50, which I found pretty funny.

Clearly I don't have much to say--just wanted to write something I guess. I'm still working at maintaining a positive attitude/outlook, which is easier some moments than others. It's still hard for me to handle having a job where I don't feel like I'm doing anything that matters. Or at least, that's what I'm telling myself. Maybe it's just hard for me to handle having a job that I have to shape my life around. I've never been very enthusiastic about time commitments. Lately I've woken up angry or annoyed every day, which stinks, obviously. It's just a hurdle to jump, first thing in the morning. It helps a little though when I know that David's up too, and I can text him good morning. Part of me wishes (the completely insane part?) that I were back at R-MA in the mornings, dragging myself out of bed, hugging David, waking the kids up, going to breakfast, turning in the dorm report, going back to sleep. I mean, I definitely miss the going back to sleep part, but it's just weird for me to be missing the dorm all of the sudden. Didn't I hate it? Wasn't I miserable? I guess there were a lot of moments that I wasn't; but the unhappiness stood out so strongly that it was all I saw, and still all I could see until just a few days ago. Now I'm remembering the sweet moments--moments with David, time spent cleaning my apartment, the laughter and silliness of children, the kind faces I saw every morning in the cafeteria. Even just the general peace or satisfaction or whatever it is that I feel when I can work with or be around children. I hadn't thought that it was present there, but now that I'm gone and missing it I see that it was. I miss being around kids so much that I'm nearly tearing up just writing it.



David: move here. (June: hurry up and arrive so David can move here!)

*Edit: do my sentences seem incredibly choppy to anyone else, or is it just me? Reading back over what I just wrote feels like trying to drive home in 5:00 traffic, but when I went back to fix it I didn't see much that I can do. Is this because I'm tired or something? (Humor me and say yes.)

Basketball weekend pt 2.

Little Women always makes me cry.


Did I mention the VCU game already? It was alright. I didn't actually pay attention to the game at all. We all got there, and then Tim got there! I had forgotten he was back in the country! And then Jesse came too! It was so great to see them. Then I was hungry and, though there was no re-entry allowed, Jenny had extra tickets. So China and Arnita and I went to Subway, and met Taylor (another camper) there. The game ended later and I got home later than I had expected, but I finally got out of town around 8.

Drove to Front Royal (known affectionately by those with addictions to nicknames as "Froro") Saturday night, and we didn't get off to a great start. I had been sort of fighting off negativity for a few days, and David was struck with it all at once, so we found ourselves both suddenly rather low and negative.

We made it through though, and Sunday we got up at 9 and drove to Alexandria to catch the metro into DC and watch the Wizards game. We had planned to get there an hour early and get some autographs, but it didn't work out. We thought that leaving at 10 would get us there by 12, but it didn't. We barely made it to the game. The game was really a good one (though the Wizards lost by 5), but David was very disappointed over the autographs. I hope he gets a chance to get them someday.

From the game we went go the Winchester Red Lobster for dinner, and that was alright. I mean, going to the game and riding the metro and having dinner with David were great. It's just that the "2 people for $30" menu at Red Lobster leaves something to be desired.

Little Women is making me cry again. The night wind blew, and Beth passed gently away.


Sunday night we watched "Happy Texas," which Suzanne lent me a week or two ago, and it was really good. Much better than I expected. In fact, I may have to buy a few copies to give to people.
David was still feeling sad though, and had kind of a rough evening. We talked a lot and played with the cats some and went to bed. This morning he woke me but I didn't get up for breakfast; I slept until the urchins were in classes, then got up and went over to nap until 10:30. It was nice. It was hard to leave for work in Richmond. I don't like leaving him.


Little Women: again making me emotional. Such a good movie.



Noticed while watching Little Women: there is something very...luscious? Romantic? Ah. Very sensual about eating fruit. Particularly orange sections.

Things I Need:

Jimmy Buffet music.