Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Lack of productivity, rain, passive aggression, volte!

Okay, so today has been almost utterly worthless. Work was fine. Uneventful. Hung out with Colin for a little while after my shift ended and before going home, because what else was there to do? And he, my only friend at work, is moving to Oregon this month. Brian hired a new guy today. I researched (I use the term loosely) new jobs today. On CL, as always. I feel guilty about that. Why? I guess I don't want to leave Brian short, but he doesn't own me, and I never pretended to love fish.
Anyway, I came home after work and checked email and such, got off the computer with the intention of taking a nap, and my mom came home. We talked some, I put some groceries away, she asked if I wanted to go for a walk. I said "is later ok?" She said yes. I took a nap. She walked the dogs. This is not an attack on her--they needed to go out. This is annoyance with myself. Why do I never want to go outside? I almost always enjoy walks. Sometimes I love them. It is very rare that I regret having taken one. But still, I never want to go. I nearly always have to be dragged, threatened, provoked, or begged. What the hell is my problem? Am I ever going to get over this? So I napped, I got up, called Oxford Seminars to talk about rescheduling options for the TESL class (there are some, thank goodness), Chloe and Dad came home, we ate dinner, I got on the computer. I fucking STAYED on the computer. For hours. And now it's 9:34, and I am and have been bored as hell, and have done almost nothing today, much less gone outside or exercised. I am helping my dad grade papers, so that's something. I'm just very frustrated about it all. Someone take the internet away from me.

Possibly I should point out (to the detriment of the tmi meter) that this is probably at least partly due to PMS. Fml.

But, more positive things:

I called the Oxford Seminars people, and I don't have to cancel my v-day weekend plans. Yay!
I'm spending time with my Dad.
I am writing here*
I remembered to write David today and yesterday!**
I have a super duper sweet new jacket. My mom went to Sears Scratch-and-Dent yesterday (never having seen this place, I have no idea whether I spelled/punctuated that correctly) looking for a mattress, and she got us jackets! I honestly do not remember the last time I had a new, warm, non-hand-me-down jacket of my very own--so this is very exciting. Also, it is purple.
I am eating an orange.
I am going to take a hot shower and--hopefully--not run out of hot water 3/4 of the way through. 
           I will probably run out of hot water 3/4 of the way through, though. This seems to happen just about every time, despite my best efforts.
There was other stuff, I'm pretty sure, but I forgot it.

*sometimes, when no one leaves me notes, I decide that it would be a good idea for me to passive-aggressively (as though it impacts anyone other than myself) not write for a while. Actually, I decide that I should not write until someone leaves me a note, goddammit, but then eventually I give in.
**I decided that we should start up the writing-every-day thing again, because otherwise (imho) we don't communicate well. At all. I don't, anyway.

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