Sunday, March 7, 2010

What now?

well it's my first single night since may 31, 2007. I went to kelly's house and read teen romance, let maggie curl my hair, dipped crackers in chocolate, and didn't think about anything important. I've just come home. it's 1:53 am.

may 31, 2007! so long ago. and it was such a sweet feeling, such a sweet time. I hardly know what's going on, or what to do, or think, or feel. what can I say? I love David. I still want to see him. it still felt good to be near him today. When I hugged him, when he leaned back against me, I felt like I could finally breathe. I didn't want to let go. but David isn't David. he isn't the same person. even he says, he's empty. I don't feel so far from empty myself. how can two half-alive people love one another? what can I say? what can I do? I feel... unlaced.

From the seven-month mark of our relationship.

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