It smelled like fall tonight--like woodsmoke, but more than that. The air is beginning to change. The leaves are beginning to dry.
Today I had lunch and coffee with a friend from high school, Andrew. It was nice. It was sort of an island of sanity or a breath of air in the midst of a day of drowning. I was a bit of a wreck in the morning, and I was a lot of a wreck in the afternoon over David. Of course. I felt like I was falling asleep after I came home and I went to bed, but just lay awake and stared, or daydreamed, or cried. When my mom came home she found me dozing on he sofa, and put on The Secret Garden and made dinner, and we spent some time together before she had to go back out to work. Just as she left my dad came home, and he and I talked a while--first about the retreat, which led to David and thus was supremely unhelpful. I get so that, if I move, I will break things. So that I'm worried about holding glasses in my hands, because when I do I am overtaken with the almost irrepressible urge to smash them against the wall, floor, cabinet, or countertop. He saw me sitting very carefully still, arms crossed, and asked me what I was thinking about. That was: picking up the stool that was under my feet, and using it to destroy the room, beginning with Miley's dog cage. After that he changed the subject and asked me about the book he'd asked me to read, which led to a discussion of teaching methods and literature, which was wonderful. He and I haven't really talked in a long time.
I took Miley on a long walk and cleaned the kitchen up a little, and shortly thereafter my mother came home, and we set to work literally combing Miley for fleas with all of the old lice combs we could find. I don't even want to talk about how many there were--she was covered. She's picked up still more in the hour or so since we stopped. I gave her a flea bath two days ago!
So much quality time with my parents tonight was really nice. It's a rarity lately, and I've missed them. We may go to the farmer's market in the morning, but that isn't firmly decided yet. We'll see.