Thursday, May 13, 2010

After a comment from Johnny yesterday, I remembered what this was for.

First, it's a record for me to look back on, because my memory can be pretty ridiculously bad. I'd often rather write things online because, barring some kind of meltdown at the server, an online journal is a lot harder to lose than a notebook. Still, I should get a jump drive. Maybe someday I'll stop just saying that and actually get one.

Second, especially when things are bad, I don't particularly like to talk about my emotions. So what happens is that I say nothing for a while, and then I vomit everything I've been holding back all over some poor bystander. Or I don't say anything and then I get depressed or irrationally angry and flip out on people. And regardless, I don't feel like I can talk to the people who care about me most, because I don't want to upset them. They don't like that. Solution: I write it here. That way nobody has to read it, but anyone who wants to read can do so. And I don't have to talk about it. As an added bonus, anyone who reads anything awkward has the option of pretending they didn't. So everybody's happy. Ish.

Anyway, if this is a record, I guess I should also write when I'm having a decent day. What a concept! Of course, often, nothing interesting happens on interesting days. Like today. Nothing much has happened thus far, but it's been decent. That isn't to say that I haven't been thinking about David about 80% of the time, but I haven't usually been miserable while doing so. So that's good.

My TESL class make-ups start this weekend. I guess I'm glad to finally be getting over with, but I don't feel like going. I'm coming into this group a third of the way through the class, so they'll already know each other and will already have signed up for presentation slots and so on. Also it's exhausting, and Larry and Ryan should be showing up right after the first two days/18 hours of class. But hey! I'll (hopefully) finish with a certification!

No comments:

Post a Comment